‘Who the hell would swipe the Pinkmobile?’ Pepe said as they sped across town.
‘Someone with questionable taste,’ Joe replied. ‘ Skippy must be shitting bricks right now.’
Skippy and the Hardleys had been friends since childhood. He was passionate about his car, a black mid-1980s Corvette that he painted salmon-colored racing stripes on. Skippy loved the stripes, but to every body else, they looked pink, hence the boys name for the car.
‘They’re salmon-colored,’ Skippy insisted. ‘Salmon. It’s my favorite fish.’
Then the trickerations started. Joe slipped into Skippy’s driveway one night and plastered the bumper with unicorn and rainbow decals. Skippy knew Joe was the culprit, so one day at school when Joe was in his first class, Skippy covered Joe’s SUV windshield with pamphlets from the Jehovah’s Witnesses and NAMBLA. He also left a copy of Barely Legal glued to the window. Joe stopped his pranks, and was the laughing stock of the school for weeks, yet Skippy remained silent, secretly rejoicing to himself.
When their friend Titus first saw the car, he noted that Skippy ‘should have pink on the inside. That way, when he goes through a car wash, the car looks like a dripping wet snatch.’
They were a few blocks from Skippy’s house when Pepe noticed the rear end of a car sticking out from the car woods on the side of the road. Thinking it could be the Pinkmobile, he pointed.
‘Dude!’ he yelled to Frank. ‘Pull over! I see a car.’
They stopped and got out to examine the car. Joe studied it carefully. ‘Hey! ‘ He said. ‘This is the car that nearly hit us!’
Pepe confirmed Joe’s thought. ‘ That fuckin’ bitch. ‘
The front end of the car lay there crumpled into a tree. Skid marks led from the road to the accident, and footprints led back up to the road. The car appeared barren.
‘S he couldn’t have gone far,’ Frank said. ‘And I would venture a guess that she is the thief of Skippy’s car. He’s only two blocks up the road.
‘Fucknuts,’ Pepe said nervously. ‘This looks like someone who knows a thing or two about crime. She’s probably packing heat. Shit.’ He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle. He gulped down a pill and offered the bottle to the Hardleys.
‘Xanax?’ he asked.
‘ Fuck yeah!’ the boys said in unison.